Foundations Of Fatherhood

Introduction: (More than ever, our families desperately need godly fathers. Children are crying for appropriate attention from Dad. Plenty of men are willing to sire children but not willing to work hard to be good fathers. You need to learn these foundation principles that will help you be a better father.)

I. Build A Good Relationship With Your Wife: (The first foundation of being a good father is building a godly relationship with your wife.)

     1. Presenting A United Parental Front: Mt. 12:25 (In dealing with the Jews, Jesus stated a principle that is true in all areas of life. A divided house cannot stand. As a father you must build a good relationship with your wife so you can present a united parental front.)  2. Making Her Job Easier: Eph. 5:25 (It is easier for a woman to accept her role as a wife and mother when the man properly fulfills his role. You must accept your self sacrificing role as leader of the family to make it possible for her to accept her role.)

II. Provide Spiritual Leadership: (Being head of the house involves embracing the responsibility of being spiritual leader in your home. This in no way minimizes the importance your wife has in affecting the spirituality of your home. It does emphasize you have a responsibility to take the lead.)

     1. Study The Bible: Ps. 1:1-2, 1 Tim. 4:13, 15 (You must study the scriptures for your own knowledge. You cannot teach your children if you don’t know the Bible yourself.)  2. Teach Your Children: Deut. 6:7-9, Eph. 6:4 (Teach your children constantly! How can you think you are a good Dad if you never teach your children the word of God.)
        A. Use Opportunities: Exo. 12:26-27 (God told Israel to use the occasions when their children quizzed them to teach. You must use every opportunity to teach your children God’s word.)

          B. Think Of The Future: Deut. 4:9-10 (Teach your children with thoughts of the future generations. What you teach them will directly effect what the next generation learns.)

      3. Show Correct Priorities: Mt. 10:37-39 (You must set the example before your children of the right priorities. Does your life show that God is first? That the church is important? Family?)

    III. Provide Moral Leadership: (Again, you must take the lead and set the moral tone of your home.)

       1. Setting A Good Example: Titus 2:6-7 (God tells us to be careful to show a pattern of good works. This involves laying down a consistently righteous example before our children. This is to be an example of doing good deeds as well as abstaining from evil deeds.)  2. What You Demand Of Your Children: Prov. 29:15 (It is your responsibility to make reasonable demands of your children. If you leave them to their own devices they will not blossom into something godly.)
       
        A. Rules: 1 Sam. 2:12-17, 22-25, 1 Sam. 3:13 (Eli’s sons were very evil. He rebuked them but he did not do enough to restrain them. We have to give our children rules and we have to enforce those rules.) 2 Sam. 13/Deut. 22:25-27, 2 Sam. 13:21 (David should have disciplined Amnon. According to the law, Amnon should have been killed. David was angry, but did not act. Other texts add that David would not have Amnon killed because he was first born.) B. Discipline: Prov. 13:24, Prov. 22:15, Prov. 23:13-14 (The scriptures plainly teach us to discipline our children. Be a man and accept this responsibility. Don’t let others stop you from administering measured, loving discipline.) C. See Their Faults: 2 Sam. 18:5, 33, 2 Sam. 19:1-6 (Absolom rebelled against David and intended to kill him. David still favored Absolom and wanted him spared. He was so caught up in this he appeared to care more for his enemies than for his friends. This refusal to see the error of his son did not help Absolom. As fathers we must be objective with our children and see their faults.)

    IV. Provide Financial Leadership: (Like in these other areas, you must set the pace of leadership.)

       1. Hard Work1 Tim. 5:8, Prov. 24:30-34 (The Lord teaches us to work hard to provide for our families. We must be especially diligent in light of the fact we are showing our children the work ethic.)  2. Thrift: Prov. 18:9 (Wastefulness is akin to laziness. You need to set an example before your children of being thrifty and not wasteful.) Prov. 13:22 (It is a godly pursuit to leave some inheritance for your children. While a child needs wisdom to properly use an inheritance [Prov. 20:21, Eccl. 7:11] it can be good. Preparing for such is a good show of thrift.)  3. Generosity: Prov. 3:9 (Set an example of generosity before your children. Give generously to the church and those in need. This will be leadership worth following.)

    V. Provide Emotional Leadership: (We might easily pass by this aspect of leadership, but it is important. We have allowed ourselves to think emotional sensitivity is contrary to the macho image. But we must not let worldly thinking poison our work as fathers. We must lead emotionally as well.)

       1. Be Stable: Jas. 1:8 (Instability is often rooted in double mindedness. Double mindedness will always cause instability. You must firmly fix yourself on serving God to give you the best opportunity to exhibit emotional stability. From this vantage point you can emotionally lead your children.) 2 Kings 17:41 (God’s people imitated the instability of previous generations. If you don’t get your feet planted firmly on the ground you cannot properly lead your family to be emotionally stable.)  2. Support Your Wife:

        A. Be Affectionate: Gen. 26:8 (This story gives a glimpse of Isaac being affectionate with Rebecca. This is part of the natural course of marriage. Tenderness and affection are important ways to show your wife your love and support. The sense of security this gives your home will help your children feel more emotionally secure.)
        B. Be Kind: Col. 3:12-13 (Kindness in your disposition towards her will also help enhance the emotional security of your home.)

       3. Support Your Children:


        A. Communicate: Prov. 18:2 (Listen! This passage speaks of the fool who only wants to express themselves, but has no interest in understanding what the other person has to say.)
        B. Give Constant Attention: Rom. 1:31 (The Bible condemns those who do not have natural family love. It is only natural to want to give your children love and attention. And children certainly need constant attention. So to do anything short of this is unspeakable. Fathers, what affection your daughters don’t receive from you they may seek in a misguided way when they are dating.) C. Don’t Overbear: Col. 3:21 (Paul warns us not to provoke our children. We can be overbearing and cause them to be broken spirited.)

    Conclusion: (Fatherhood is more important than you realize. It leaves a mark as deep as the soul. Don’t underestimate what you mean to your children and what a great impact you can have on their lives. Use these foundations of fatherhood and build a good home.)