Introduction: 1 Cor. 6:20 (Because we are bought and paid for by God, every area of our lives must glorify him. The family is included in this principle. You have a responsibility to construct a family that will glorify God and fulfill his purpose. This study speaks to those that are already married by encouraging us to be the right kind of spouse. It especially speaks to the unmarried in encouraging them to select an appropriate, godly mate. Rather than dealing with the question of marrying someone who is not a Christian, let us deal with the question of marrying someone who does not love God.)
Ask these questions:
Will this person help me to be a better Christian?
Will I help this person be a better Christian?
Your children will probably be lost! Who will do something to change that fact?
Will this person teach my children to fear God?
First, consider what kind of person you are bringing into the relationship. What kind of person are you? Then consider the kind of person you are marrying. Then consider what to do once you've gotten into a bad situation.
1. Be A Good Person: Mt. 7:3-5 (Before you spend too much time wondering what kind of person you are marrying, you need to think about the kind of person you are. Will you be an asset to the marriage?)
A. Unselfish: 1 Cor. 7:32-34 (God admits that it is natural in marriage to seek to please your spouse. Will you be this kind of spouse or will you always think of yourself? Thinking of the other person means a commitment to make the marriage work. Do you have such a commitment?)
B. God First: Mt. 6:33 (No matter what, God must be first in your life. Can you honestly tell your future spouse or spouse that you love God more than you will ever love them? If you cannot say this, you are an unfit candidate for marriage!)
C. Guided By God's Law: Ps. 1:1 (Walk, stand, sit; These are all increasing levels of involvement. Are you letting God's word guide every area of your life? This is what it takes to make a marriage work.)
2. Find A Good Spouse: Prov. 12:4 (A good spouse can be a great blessing. A terrible spouse can destroy your marriage, your soul and your children s souls.)
A. God First: Lk. 12:52-53 (Your spouse should put God first, even before you.)
B. Responsible: Eph. 5:23-25 (This and other passages outline the responsibilities of the husband and wife. Will you potential spouse fulfill these responsibilities? If they are not this kind of person now, why think they will be later?) Eph. 6:4 (This speaks of the responsibility of parents to teach their children. Will your future spouse do this? If they don't have time to study now, why think they will take time to study with your children later?)
C. Solomon: 1 Kings 11:1-4 (Do you think you can take it? Do you think that you can be the exception and make a marriage with some ungodly fool work? Solomon was one of the wisest people that ever lived. He couldn't make it work. It took him down. Are you better than Solomon?
3. Lemonade Out Of Lemons: 1 Pet. 3:1-7 (You must do your best to set a good example in the hopes that your spouse will become a Christian. You cannot manipulate your spouse. You cannot force them to do right. You can only do right yourself and hope they will follow suit.) 1 Cor. 7:13-15 (God recognizes that sometimes a Christian may become involved with a person that is ungodly. In this situation the Christian is bound to do their part in making the marriage work. If the unbeliever is not content to dwell, the Christian is no longer under bondage to that marriage.)
Conclusion: (In light of the seriousness of marriage and children, why on earth would you want to marry anyone but a person who is totally devoted to God? Why? Remember: If for some reason your spouse turns against God. Though your marriage may fail, you can be a success if you follow God's commands regarding your role in the marriage and in doing all you can to make the marriage work.)