Parenting from the Scriptures


1. Introduction:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
A. General purpose in parenting is to take a child that is totally dependent on you for even life, and in about 18 or so years make them capable of doing the same for their own child.
B. Do not show favoritism (Jacob and Joseph)

2. Children must have their spiritual needs met as well as their physical needs.

A. Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,
and all these things shall be added to you.
1. Ball games, friends, socialization, education, even life skills all must play 2nd string to the spiritual life of your children.
2. Have you taught your children "the value of a dollar" through teaching them to work hard? You should...but not to the exclusion of spiritual life.
3. Have you taught your children team work and reliability, good sportsmanship, and diligence by involving them in a team sport? Good. But not to the exclusion of spiritual matters.
4. What does it mean to seek 1st the kingdom of God?
B. You can't give away what you don't have...your kids will be like you, so work hard to fix your own problems - Ex.34:7
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and
the children's children to the third and the fourth generation.

3. Ephesians 6:4

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
A. Don't provoke your children unto wrath lest they be discouraged
1. Provoke means to stir up.
2. Lose heart, become dis-spirited.
B. But bring them up
1. Proverbs 29:15
The rod and rebuke give wisdom,
But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
2. Don't "let them come up" and don't "jerk them up"
C. In the nurture and admonition of the Lord - Titus 2:1-5
1. You don't allow your children to eat anything they want do you? No, that's not good for them.
2. You don't let them play anywhere they want do you? No, that could be dangerous.
3. Then why on earth would you let them be as interested in faith and God as they might want?
4. Lead them to faith in Jesus
D. Deut.6:6-9
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
1. Do you diligently teach God's word to your children? Or do you give them just enough to immunize them against its power?
2. As a parent, your children will be a lot like you...they will, by nature, value what you you value the Word enough to study it in their presence? To pray with your children? To talk with them about God's commands?
3. You must give them reasons with the rules (not just "because I said so")
4. Set Non-Negotiable standards for your home. Josh.24:15
as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord
a. These standards must be for you as well as your children, no double standards!

4. Discipline

A. You must have a good relationship with the child to be effective in discipline
1. Try to develop something special with each child
2. You are not supposed to trust your kids, you are supposed to know them
3. It takes an investment of your time...lots of time...and then more time
4. You've got to be thick skinned, [and teach them to be]. They will unintentionally hurt your feelings (sometimes they may do it intentionally too).
B. The purpose of discipline is to help the child develop self-discipline
1. You're job is to make them righteous, not make them happy
2. Only personal righteousness will, through the duration of their lives give them joy.
C. Don't discipline out of anger. James 1:20
for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God
1. You can draw the line wherever you choose!
2. You must be willing to ask their forgiveness for your wrongs!
D. Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
1. Spank your children
2. Discipline them promptly
E. You must present a united front - the kids will play you against each other
1. Don't make one parent always the "Heavy". "Good cop/Bad cop"
2. Mom...don't argue with dad about proper clothing for your daughters

5. Pick your children's friends for them [help them learn how themselves] 1 Cor. 15:33

Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits."
A. This includes family and family friends and "church members"
B. Help them choose a spouse

6. When they marry, your role changes.

A. You become a counselor, no longer an authority "leave father and mother"
B. Remember, the purpose in parenting is to take a child that is totally dependant on you for even life, and in about 18 years make them capable of being a parent to a child.
C. You must help/let them leave "for this cause shall a man leave father and mother..."

7. Other foundational things:

A. Mom & dad, pray for your children! (Job & Hannah)
B. Love each other. Treat each other with respect. Put each other before the children (but don't exclude the kids)

8. A word to the kids - Ephesians 6:1-3

A. OBEY your parents! It is a SIN when you don't
B. HONOR your parents! No-one loves you more than they do
1. Yes, sometimes they will be selfish, mean, and they won't understand you
2. Still, NO-ONE loves you more than they do!

9. Conclusion:

A. Your greatest joys in life and your greatest heartaches in life will come from your children.
B. At times it will not be fun, it will be very heavy and burdensome
C. But it is the greatest blessing you can imagine
For this child I prayed,
and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him.
Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord;
as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord."
So they worshiped the Lord there.
1 Samuel 1:26-27